Ragging k waqt ladko ne
ek ladki se kaha ,
Ek – sawal ka jawab
Do – Patna kahan hai ?
Ladki – Bihar me .
Boys – yahi pat jao itni dur jaane ki kya zarurat hai .
Wife – kitchen se aji sunte ho
aajkal mai khubsurat hoti ja rahi hue .
Husband – : tumne kaise jana
Wife :- aaj kal meri khubsurti dekhkar rotiyan bhi jalne lagi hai …..
Jinn: Hukam aaka?
Man: Ghar se dunai tak road banani hai
Jinn: Mushkil hai aur koi kaam bataiye
Man: Meri biwi ko aagyakari aur samajhdar bana do.
Jinn: Road single banani hai ya dabule..
kya meri nak tedi hai. ankhen mendki jesi hai. surat se besharm lagta hoon, pagal hoon akal nahi mujhe… phir kise ne aisa kiyo kaha meri surat tumse milte hai………….?
yr 1 : janu
yr 2 : O ji
yr 3 : sunte ho?
yr 4 : O bunty ke papa
yr 5 : kide mar gaye?
TUSI bade hi gr8 ho,
RASGULLE ki pl8 ho,
PEPSI ka cr8 ho,
ANDE ka oml8 ho,
SMS KARANE ME bade le8 ho,
JALEBI ki tarah stra8 ho,
KHER jo bhi ho mere fevr8 ho…!
Lamhe judai ke bekarar karte hain,
Haalat meri mujhe laachar karte hain,
Aankhe meri pad lo kabhi,
Ham khud kaise kahe ki
hum aapse pyaar karte hain.
Tere liye agar jan vi dene pade
kurban he jan tujhpar khuda sevi na darte he hum
tumare hawas vari nigaye kaise janegi ye raj
ke duniya me sabse bada pyar tumhiko karte he hum.
Bandar ki Beti Apne Baap se Boli
Papa Papa Mujhe Shadi Karni Hai
Beta thoda intezar karo kyonki
Dulha Abhi SMS Read Kar Rahi hai
PANI AANAY KI BAAT KARTE HOO
DIL JALANE KI BAAT KARTE HOO
CHAR DIN SE MOO NAHI DHOIYA
TUM NAHANE KI BAAT KARTE HOO
Jis taraf dekho apka hi naam hai
Jis taraf dekho apka hi naam hai
upar likha hai most wanted
neeche 25 paise ka inaam hai
usne mehndi laga rakhi thi
humne uski doli utha rakhi thi
hum ko maloom tha ke woh bewafa niklegi
issi liye humne uski behan pata rakhi thi
APPLE KAT’TA HO KNIFE SE
PANI PITA HO PIPE SE
KIYA ZAMANA AGAYA HAI
JUTAI KHATA HO TUM WIFE SE
Ishq Me Dekh Tera Kya Haal Ho Gaya,
Badan Se Badbu Maar Rahi Hai,
Tujhe Nahaye Hue Zamana Ho Gaya.
Internet par ladki pataayi
Internet par ho gayi sagaayi
Internet par divorce ho gaya
Is bahaane computer ka course ho gaya
PYAR MAIN KISI NE DHOKHA KHAYA
TO KISI NE KASAM KHAI HAI
Tum WO MAJNOO HAI
JIS NE SIRF LAAT KHAI HAI
Dekha tujhe to rooh khush ho gayi,
Ek kami thi vo bhi puri ho gayi,
Pagal hain vo log jo kehte hain ki,
Chimpanzi ki aakhri nasal kahin kho gayi!!
Na ishq karna mere yaar
ye ladkiya bahut satati hai
na karna in par aitbar
ye kharch bahut karwati hai
recharge tum karwa ke dete ho
or number mera lagati hai
Teri yaad mein humne kalam uthaayi
Liya paper aur tasveer aapki banayi
Socha tha ki usko dil se laga kar rakhenge
Magar vo to bacho ko draane ke kaam aayi…
Umeedo ki manjil toot gayi
Aankho se ashqo ki dhara beh gayi
Are tumahri bhi kya izaat reh gayi
Jab class ki ladki bhaiya keh gayi..
Pyaar Ise Kehte Hain
Jawani ko zindage ki nikhaar kehte hain,
pathjad ko chaman ka majdhaar kehte hain,
Ajeeb chalan hain duniya ka yaaro,
Ek Dhoka hain Jise hum sab PYAAR kehte hain!
Hum aise aashik hain jo gulab ko kamal bana denge,
Uski har adaa par ghazal bana denge,
Agar wo aa jayegi meri zindagi me,
To lalu ki kasam Bihar me bhi Tajmahal bana denge.
DOSTI KI KADAR KARTE HAI HUM
AASMA MEIN SITARE HAI JITNE
YAKIN NA HO TO CALL KAR KE DEKHLO
BAAT KARENGEY AAPKE MOBILE MEIN PAISE HO JITNE
Yeh jo hasinao ke baal hote hai,
ladko ko fasane ke jaal hote hai,
pee jati hai sara khoon ladko ka
tabhi to gaal itne laal hote hai..
Tum door sahi majboor sahi,
par yaad tumhari aati hai,
Jab saans wahan par
leti ho toh badboo yahaan par aati hai
DOSTI KI KADAR KARTE HAI HUM
AASMA MEIN SITARE HAI JITNE
YAKIN NA HO TO CALL KAR KE DEKHLO
BAAT KARENGEY AAPKE MOBILE MEIN PAISE HO JITNE
Majnu ko Laila ka SMS nahi aaya
Usne 3 din se khana nahi khaya.
Woh marne wala hai Laila ke pyar mein,
Aur Laila baithi hai SMS free hone ke intezar mein.
Har gali phoolon se saja rakhi hai,
Har chowk pe ladkiyan bitha rakhi hai,
Na jane kis raste se aap aaoge,
Isliye har ladki ko ek-ek raakhi thama rakhi hai.
If v treat her nice she says “yaar mujhe line de raha hai”
If v dont she says “kitna akarta hai”
If v dress nicely she says “mujhe impress karna chahta hai”
If v dont she says “tasteless hai yaar”
If v argue with her she says “ziddi hai”
If v sit quietly she says “dumb hai”
If v act smarter she’ll lose her brain as u r insulting her
If she acts smarter she thinks its her right
If v dont love her she says “is ka to pehle se hi 2,3 ladkiyon ka saath chakkar hai”
If v love her she says “peechhe hi pad gayaa hai”
If v dont tell her ur prob she says ” u r not honest 2 me”
If u do tell to her she says “u r a problem child”
If v scold her she says “you act like a grandpa giving lecture”
If she scolds us she says “Yaar, its becoz i care”
If v break a promise she says “She does not trust u any more”
If she breaks she says “jaan main majboor thi….
ladkiyan re ladkiyan . .
bechare boys itna sab sehke bhi chup chap rehte
Mere Marne ke baad aey dost aansoo mat bahana…
agar yaad aaye meri to seedhe upar chale aana…
Agar waha me na dikhu to samajh lena tu narak me hai…
Arz hai unki galiyon ke chakkar kaat kaatte
kutte hamare yaar ho gaye,
wo to hamare na ho sake par hum
kutton ke sardar ho gaye…
Dil k dard ko zuba par laate nahi,
hum apni aankhon se ansu bahate nahi,
Zakhm chahe kitne hi gahre kyo na ho,
hum DETTOL k siva kuch laagate nahi.
Tum paas hot to tujhpe pyar aata hai,
Tum door ho to tera intezaar satata hai.
Kya kahe is dil ki haalat ki,
Tujhe yaad kar karke hume bukhaar ho jaata hai.
Amiri ke khwab Dekhne laga,
Angreji Sharab Chakhane laga,
Baap ne kabhi Pager nahi dekha,
aur beta Mobile rakhne laga!!!
Mandir mein jap karta hoon,
Masjid mein adab karta hoon,
insan se kahin bhagwan na ban jaun
isliye roz tujhko SMS karke pap karta hoon
Hotho se jo choo liya,
Ehsaas Aab tak hai,
Aankhe Nam hai, Aur sanso mein Aag aab tak hain…
Aur kyo na ho… Khayi Bhi to ‘HARI Mirchi…’hai…
Andhe ke hath me “TORCH”,
Bahare ke hath me “RADIO”,
Gunge ke hath me “MIKE”,
AUR AAP KE HATH ME “MOBILE”
WAH WAH Kya Jamana Aaya hai!!!*
Aap itraate bahut ho dil ko behlate bahut ho,
Sochte hai apko Dinner per le jaye,
Par kya kare hamara iraada badal jaata hai,
Kyunki aap khate bahut ho…!!
Apki ‘smile’ ne saara jahan hila diya,
Apki ‘smile’ ne saara jahan hila diya,
COMA se jaage huye mareez ko permanently sula diya.
Ladka apni dilruba se pooch raha hai
Kya pyaar karna paap hai?
Kya pyaar karna paap hai?
Ladke ka dost uske kaan mein bolta hai
“Abbey patli gali pakad peeche uska baap hai”
Santa to doctor : Dr: when i sleep monkeys play football in my dream..
Dr:no problem just take this medicine before sleep.
Santa: kal se loonga aaj raat ko final hai.
Apko paakar ab khona nahi chahate.
Itna khush ho ker ab rona nahi chahate.
Yeh aalam hai hamara aapki judai se.
Aankho mein neend hai magar sona nahi chahate.
Woh Zindagi hi kya jisme Mohabbat nahi,
Woh Mohabbat hi kya jisme Yaadein nahi,
Woh Yaadein kya jisme Tum nahi,
Aur woh Tum hi kya jiske saath Hum nahi.
Na khwabon me dekha, na nazaron me dekha,
Hazaron me ek humne tum hi ko dekha,
Gum dene wale to har pal hai yahan,
Har pal khushi dene walon me ek aap hi ko dekha.
Mitti ki anokhi murat ho tum,
Zindagi ki ek zarurat ho tum,
Phool to khubsurat hote hai,
Phoolo se bhi khubsurat ho tum.
sharab sharir ko khatam karti hai
sharab samaj ko khatam karti hai
aao aaj is sharab ko khatam karte hai
ek botal tum khatam karo ek hum khatam karte hai.
Dil mein ek dard liye jiye ja raha hoon,
Teri mohabbat ka jaam piye ja rahan hoon,
Na chahte huye bhi ye kaam kiye jaa raha hoon,
Na jane khud ko kaun si manzil par liye ja raha hoon.
Doodh Mein Uria, Mineral Water Mein Castic Soda,
Pepsi Aur Coke Mein Pesticide, Yani Pani Wani Bhi Kharab,
Ab Hum Kya Kare, Pure Bachi Bhi Hai To Sirf Yeh Sharab..
Botal Chupa dena kafan mein meri
Shamshan mein piya karunga
Jab mangega hisab khuda ;
To use bhi peg bana kar diya karunga…
Achhi jindagi jine ke do Tarike hai–
1) Jo ‘PASAND’ hair use ‘HASIL’ karna sikh lo.
Ya Phir
2) Jo ‘HASIL’ ho use hi ‘PASAND’ karna sikh lo.
Wife: Suniye g aap ka dost galat larki se shaadi kar raha hai.
aap usse rokte kyon nahi?
Husband: Main kyon rokon? us ne mujhe roka tha kiya
